Communication and Customer Service: Conflicting Experiences

Within the last week, I've had two very interesting and enlightening customer service experiences.  After the second, which was very different from the first, I had that "A HA" moment and decided to write about my experiences. 

My first experience was with a company who provides a common service to home owners to keep their homes looking great {no, I will not be sharing more than that}. I have been trying to use more locally owned companies for these types of services as it DOES make a difference for each of us small business owners. This was the first time I had gone with a local company for this particular service. 

From the first phone call, I knew that communication may be an issue however I pressed on giving the benefit of the doubt. The issue was that I was told they could not give me a price until they came to do the service and saw the house. I insisted on knowing an estimate ahead of time as they must have set prices for certain sized spaces. After communicating clearly what MY expectations were, the owner came out himself and gave me an estimate. This was a check in the plus column. When you are in a service industry, you must be able to give some type of estimate over the phone or make it your policy to come see the space. You can not expect people to blindly hire you and have a "we'll know how much to charge you when we come to provide the service" type attitude. No. That is not good customer service.  

Unfortunately, on the day of the service I was unable to be here due to an emergency with my son.  My husband was here and oversaw the work. He shared with me that the company showed up without their regular equipment due to a breakdown. {BIG red flag} The day proceeded to get worse when I got home and saw that things were not done to the level of expectation and, in fact, the company had done something that actually had damaged something in my home. In all fairness, my husband pointed this out to the crew prior to them leaving and they tried to remedy it but it did not meet my specifications upon my return home. 

The next day, after seeing things in the daylight, I called the owner and expressed my unhappiness with the service and the damage to my home. I asked how we were going to proceed. He didn't have an immediate answer even after I communicated, very clearly, what my expectations were. I told him I was unhappy with the service and felt that he should have cancelled due to his equipment malfunction but now I have paid him for a service and it isn't up to my expectations. He admitted that he did not check over things as he should have but then proceeded to make excuses {do not EVER make excuses-when you are a business owner-another BIG red flag} about why the service was not up to par. We finally got to an agreed upon return to remedy the situation. 

Upon arrival on the day they returned, there was no attitude of "I'm sorry let me make this right for you." Instead, it was as if this was a burden to them to return to my home {I'm sure it was but it wasn't because of my negligence}. There was little discussion and no apology {another BIG red flag}. Upon completion, when I asked how we would proceed if the damage was not remedied this visit there was no answer. No eye contact. No plan. {BIG red flag}. I ,instead, had to communicate that I would call them if the damaged area was not remedied {a proactive plan so we each knew what our "job" was}.

Fast forward 6 days later to another business and another interesting customer service experience.

While out running errands I wanted a coffee. I will almost always choose a coffee shop in this order: locally owned, Starbucks or national fast food chain. Well, this day it was the latter. I made my order and proceeded to pull away. I remember thinking that the cup looked bigger than usual but thought maybe they changed their sizes again and I don't frequent them enough to know. I pulled away while taking a drink and immediately noticed this was NOT what I ordered. I pulled around again, spoke into the box and was told to pull around and they would fix it. I did so, I got my drink and while pulling away and taking a sip AGAIN noticed that this was NOT what I ordered. 

By  now, I'm not only kicking myself for not checking before pulling away but also very frustrated that I have to round the building yet again to get what I ordered. I bypass the box completely and I think I can hear the gals at the first window say something as I speed by...

I get to the window and the manager who has now appeared says exasperatedly {not at me} "Is that STILL not right?!"  I answered in the affirmative. He asked me to pull up and shortly after, brought me exactly what I had ordered the first time. Now, here is where this experience turned immediately into a good experience.

     *He leaned in and looked directly at me to say "Please take a drink and make sure this is to your   liking."

     *Then he said "I'm sorry for your inconvenience and trouble."  

     *He went on and said "I'm refunding your money and I hope that you will come back to see us and allow us to give you a better experience than you had today."

I was so absolutely in LOVE with this that I think I may have passed out for a second...much like when you meet a celebrity and can't find your words.

YES, YES, YES. 

I will be back because YOU had a plan. YOU made it right. YOU took on the burden. 

So, bringing it home {sorry but you needed all of the details here}...

If you are in business. You MUST be a good communicator. You MUST have a plan when things go wrong. You MUST attempt to make things right with your customer. It's THAT simple. It really is. 

Have your plan and communicate it to everyone who works for you. Keep the tone from the top cohesive and KNOWN. 

Until then, remember to 

Say it with Style...

Jen

Everything I Need I Learned In Kindergarten? Really?

I had the pleasure yesterday of speaking about my passion {communication} to two different groups. I truly enjoy the time I get to spend teaching and reminding others about the importance of communication both within themselves and with others {INTRApersonal vs. INTERpersonal communication}.  I learn something new each time I get to interact with and meet new people in this way. 

One of my presentations reminded that, when it comes to communication, we really DID learn everything we needed to know in Kindergarten.  We make things so complicated sometimes. 

     *Say this...

     *Say that...

     *Use these words...

     

It gets confusing and overwhelming and it's no wonder people screw it up so often {myself included}. 

So, as I reflected on my personal journey and awakening at the importance of excellent INTRApersonal communication skills, I remembered the much beloved All I Ever Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum.

1. Share everything {COMMUNICATE}

2. Play Fair {Always}

3. Don't hit people {This includes with words-no hitting when they are down}

4. Put things back where you found them {If you screw up, use your communication to get things back on track-QUICKLY}

5. Clean up your own mess {see comment above}

6. Don't take things that aren't yours {give credit where credit is due}

7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT someone {not I'm sorry but...or talk around it, actually say: I'M SORRY}

8.  Wash your hands before you eat {I swear I didn't add this since I'm a germ-o-phobe}

9.  Flush {LOL}

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you {remember communication isn't always about what we say but more what we do}

11. Live a balanced life-learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some {Talk to yourself and LISTEN to the answers to keep your priorities in line}

12. Take a nap every afternoon {proven fact that communication suffers with sleep deprivation}

13.  When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together {build each other up with your words-especially women to women}

14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that {stay grounded and full of wonder}

15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup-they all die. So do we. {Leave nothing unsaid-life is short}

16. And then remember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned-the biggest word of all-LOOK! {Listen. Speak. Grow}

I would add these to the list:

17. Be who you are ALWAYS {be authentic}

18. Say "no" and mean it {being honest and saying NO is not only empowering for you but for the person you say it to as they know where they stand}

19. Use easy to understand words {jargon, complex vocabulary, and trying to sound smart is NOT best-keep it simple!}

20. Ask lots and lots and lots of questions {Listen. Speak. Grow}

I've been asked several times recently "Jennifer, as a pediatric speech language pathologist for 15 years, what qualifies you now to work with businesses on communication ?"  

I just smile...because I KNOW the answer and I just shared it with you here. 

Remember to play nice in the sandbox, friends 

AND

 Say it with Style..

As always, thank you for reading.

Jen

Talking to Myself...and hearing the answer

Talking to Yourself? 

It's O.K, you can admit it. No judgement here. It doesn't mean you're losing it, quite the contrary and when it comes to living a satisfying life and having a great career/business, it's a necessity. 

We all hear about INTERpersonal communication but how many of you think or really understand INTRApersonal communication?

I do BUT I haven't thought much about it since my Introduction to Communication Disorders class back in...well, no need to bore you with that little detail. 

These two words are often used inappropriately. They are not synonyms...(definitions courtesy of Wikipedia)

      Interpersonal communication~Interpersonal communication is the process that we use to communicate our ideas, thoughts, and feelings to another person. Our interpersonal communication skills are learned behaviors that can be improved through knowledge, practice, feedback, and reflection.


     Intrapersonal communication~ language use or thought internal to the communicator. It can be useful to envision intrapersonal communication occurring in the mind of the individual in a model which contains a sender, receiver, and feedback loop.


In recent weeks, I've come to realize just how important, and lacking, my intrapersonal communication has been. Obviously, I like to think of myself as a pretty good communicator but what I didn't realize, until recently, was that I really and truly needed to get back to communicating with myself (outside of talking to myself when I can't find things or am working through a difficult concept).  Let me explain...

How often do you ask yourself questions and actually LISTEN to the answer?  We should and NEED to be asking ourselves tough questions at each stage of our lives and careers if we want to continue to move forward in a positive and fulfilling way.

The answers to the questions will change and they should. The problem is that too many of us continue to operate based on a set of answers we asked ourselves eons ago or, sadly, never asked. 

Your intrapersonal communication is very closely tied to your emotional development, your environment, your life experiences, the role you are playing at any given time etc...if you never stop to consider the answers to questions like:

      ~What DO I value and what ARE my values?
      ~What DO I believe about ________?
      ~What are my personal policies and procedures? meaning, what are things I absolutely will NOT tolerate personally and professionally. 
      ~What would my ideal day look like? Ideal client? 

you will stumble, fall, feel unfulfilled, take on projects you regret, take on too much, take on too little, be dissatisfied with life/career, have regrets, make poor decisions etc...

Make a daily date with yourself or, at the very least, a quarterly date with yourself to ask these questions and review the answers.  A great way to strengthen your intrapersonal communication is through meditation, journaling (writing thoughts down is an ultimate intrapersonal exercise) and daydreaming. Yes, daydreaming. 

So, what will you do to strengthen your intrapersonal communication? I'd love to hear. If you'd like to learn more or feel you need a facilitator, let me know!

As always,thanks for reading and remember to... 

Say it with Style.

Jen






     

Time

Quick! Name as many songs as you can with time in the title.

TICK

TOCK

{OK, seriously. I can't go through with the deception here. I really don't want you to name songs with time in the title-at least not yet.}

I figured if I told you this post was actually about Time Management, you wouldn't stick around for long. 

Sorry. I'm usually not a deceptive person.

As an Entrepreneur, a Mompreneur in particular, I often feel like my time each day is like this

I start off well and some days are better than others, but then things spiral out of control and before I know it I've only completed two tasks from my list and it's time for dinner and family priorities. 

 I LOVE to do lists but I'm beginning to think this isn't my *best* time management tool anymore. 

Time maps scare me. 

The look of those I've seen not only confuse my brain but seem cluttered.  I HATE clutter. It causes me to have anxiety {almost as much as germs}. 

Thanks to my mother for both. 

I realize though that you can't learn much about a concept with just a first impression {obviously}

and so I signed up for a Time Map webinar for this week.  If you are interested, here is the link: http://ownyourtime.eventbrite.com/. Before anyone asks, I am not an Affiliate for Lara Galloway but I am sure a fan of her and her work. Check her out if you are a Mompreneur and feel like you need some direction. I've implemented several of her strategies and have had great success.

So, what does all of this have to do with communication and Saying it with Style?  

A ton.

But the most important thing is this: if you can't organize yourself, prioritize tasks and manage your time you certainly don't have time to spend learning how to Say it with Style.

As always, thanks for reading. 

OH! I almost forgot. How many songs CAN you think of with time in the title? and  Do you use a Time Map? 

Jen

Set The Tone With A Great Handshake

Before I get rolling, I must tell you that shaking hands is not my favorite thing to do. You see, I'm a Germophobe. Yep, I'm a hand sanitizing, don't even think of drinking off my glass, please don't double dip,  card carrying...

GERM. O. PHOBE!

Having said that...I also believe that the handshake is THE MOST important networking tool you have in your networking arsenal. So, I tell myself "suck it up buttercup" and extend my hand to most everyone I meet-usually being the first to extend my hand (tip #1).

One of the most important things to remember, when extending your hand, is that you want to be palm to palm (tip #2) with the other person-whether you are a woman or a man and regardless of whether you are shaking hands with someone of the opposite gender.

WOMEN! Did you read that? No fingertips only (tip #3). Stick that hand out and shake hands with confidence. Set the tone that you are confident and equal.

MEN! No wet noodles (tip #3) but no bone crushers (tip #4) either. Extend your hand and give a firm handshake with everyone.

An easy rule of thumb (no pun intended) is to line up the "v" of your hand with the "v" of your partner's hand (tip #5).

Save those two handed shakes for those you are closer with as it signals a more "intimate" greeting (tip #6).

Now, grab that hand sanitizer and get shaking!

Here's a little funny to set you on your way for the long weekend.

As always, thank you for reading and be sure to...

Say it with Style.


Jen

Are Women Better Team Leaders?

In recent months there has been much discussion about women being better suited for leadership positions within organizations. 

Why you ask? 

What is it about women that makes them ideal team leaders? 

Not surprisingly, it comes down to our innate communication style(s).

As women, we are generally more intuitive which lends itself well to leading a team. We are also more verbal which means more discussion within teams which is always a good thing. Women also are generally more empathetic communicators which means they make more sound decisions because they ARE thinking about others and not just how it affects themselves or the bottom line. 

Some say that there is a flip side of having such personal interactions with team members. They believe that there is a loss of control that occurs when we do not have a clear line between "us" and "them." 

I say...

It's always best to find the balance between personal and business. Set reasonable boundaries from the start but don't be afraid to form relationships with your team.  

At the end of the day, it's about forming relationships and doing business with those we truly like and trust. You can't do this without being more personal on, at least, some basic level.

How about you...what do you think about blurring the line a bit to form more of a relationship with team members?

As always thanks for reading and remember to Say it with Style...

Jennifer

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...

Back in April, I FINALLY got a Smartphone...I was so excited to have that thing in my hot little hand.  I jumped in with both feet, trying to learn as much as I could about it's features and how I could use them to make my life easier. GOOD.

I don't know about you...but I LOVE being able to text and email clients from my Smartphone.  I especially love texting as you can quickly send a reminder, picture or contact and see immediately that the item was delivered.  GOOD. 

Shortly after I got my Smartphone, it became evident that texting for me was going to be much more difficult than with my prior phone. I couldn't seem to get the hang of typing on the virtual keyboard. BAD. 

I found that I was spending much more time proofreading, which is ironic because there is an autocorrect feature. BAD.

           Speaking of autocorrect, I have a love/hate relationship with it.

How about you?

I have, on more than one occasion, sent texts to clients with seemingly unidentifiable "language" in it which also then took more time to clarify. UGLY.

I once sent a message to client (a long time, close-friend client) with unintended profanity in it! UGLY. 

Moral of the story? 

Turn that autocorrect off, double and triple check those texts to clients or make the decision to only use texting for very short messages as it was intended~SMS after all stands for Short Messaging System.

Let's all be sure to make autocorrect  your best friend and not your enema...I mean ENEMY! :)

Thanks for reading...and remember to Say it with Style.

Jen

The Real Deal

 What exactly does it mean when we say someone is authentic?

Let us first explore the true meaning of the word.

Synonyms:

genuine - true - real - veritable - original

 When we are talking about authentic communication or an authentic communicator we are talking about someone who is:

 GENUINE-no buzz words

TRUE-honest

 REAL-shows their personality

VERITABLE-consistent in their communication

ORIGINAL-not a cookie cutter

So, are you an authentic communicator?  Are you the real deal?

If not, it's time to start...

Thanks for reading,

Jen

Put Some Welcome In That Welcome Mat

I know it's been a while. I'm sorry. I promise to be better about blogging. I mean, how can you all learn to Say it with Style if the person who is supposed to be teaching you, isn't saying ANYTHING???? 

My husband and I just got back from our yearly trip "Up North" to The Northwoods of Wisconsin. To say we love it up there is an understatement. I've been going to the same resort for over 30 years...moving on before you can figure out my age...

Over the years, the resort has changed hands several times. Ironically, each change involves a different generation of owners and it struck me this time that it seems my generation, and those following, quite possibly have lost the ability, desire or knowledge of how important it is to not *just* put that welcome mat out, but to actually welcome people into their businesses. 

So....

Do YOU?! 

Do you acknowledge new visits to your social media pages?

Do you respond to emails, phone messages and correspondence in a timely manner?

Do you use words and phrases like "thank you, you're welcome, my pleasure and thank you for visiting or patronizing my business?"

Do you communicate with new clients or patrons upon arrival to your store, resort, page etc..?

If you DO NOT, you need to start. 

No matter your business or whether your welcome mat is virtual or *real*...you need to set a welcoming tone and make sure that each and every employee is doing the same.

Let's all try this week to put a little more WELCOME with our welcome mat.

Thanks for reading and remember to... 

Say it with Style .

Social Media: Build Relationships, Build Trust

Many of you know that I LOVE Social Media.  I think it is a great way to communicate your message with a large audience and it's fairly easy to manage.

One of the reasons that I love it so much is that it allows future clients (hopefully) to get to know you without it being too "formal."  They can ask you a question or even just observe how you respond to other's questions and feel like they "know" you, trust you and eventually that you are the "expert" they have been looking for. We all like to do business with those we like, know and trust and Social Media allows us to do this in a "safe" way without feeling pressure to buy or use a service until we are ready.

I am surprised that more individuals aren't using this medium to promote their business, service or product.  In my opinion, it needs to be a LARGE part of a marketing plan if you are hoping to be successful in whatever you set out to do.

There are a multitude of helpful individuals, pages and businesses that can make it easy to get started. One that I have used and that I would highly recommend is Your Business Needs Fans.  You can find them online at http://www.yourbusinessneedsfans.com/. Yes, I am honored to be an Affiliate for them but I was recommending them LONG before that relationship came about.  Another person I like to follow who gives some great advice on how to communicate with your fans (something near and dear to my heart) is Mari Smith. You can find her blog here  http://www.marismith.com/mari-smith-blog/.

Stay tuned for 4 more posts on how to Say it with Style through Social Media in the business marketing world.

Listen or Speak?

The answer is both but when it comes to networking listening  is the most important of the two.

When we network, I think the biggest mistake is talking too much-something I am definitely guilty of because I am PASSIONATE about what I do. I do however, think I am a good listener. I also think I could be better. Let's face it, we can always improve upon our listening skills. 

The next time you go to a networking event or meet someone new, talk LESS and listen MORE. An easy way to work on this is to make it a point to remember their name. I know. I know. You may talk with many people at a networking event ,and it won't be easy, but the payoff will be GREAT.

You didn't think I'd leave you without telling you HOW to remember names, did you?  Here is what I try to do to remember someone's name (something I honestly don't always do-I never said I was perfect!):

*repeat the person's name upon introduction

"Nice to meet you, Madeleine."

*use it frequently during the conversation

"Madeleine, what fascinating work you do."

*if you FORGET their name, ask them as it shows that you care enough to remember it.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat your name for me?"

*ask for their business card and immediately after your conversation make a few notes about them or your conversation on the card.

Make it a game and see how many names you can remember at your next networking event. No one will know if you forget...unless someone asks you to introduce them that is. 

Tag! You're it.

While in graduate school, one of my favorite areas to study was that of gender differences and communication style (s).  I continue to find this area fascinating and often become distracted while in conversation because I am observing communication style(s) instead of listening to the "message." Oops, occupational hazard.

YES. I am going to head down the Mars vs. Venus road for a moment.

I read an article this week about how women have a tendency to sabotage themselves with the word choices they make while communicating.  I completely agree and have been astounded with how many times this week I have caught myself doing this very thing.

 Let's take a look at the two messages below:
     
      "Do you think that you can have the report done by Friday?"
      "Have the report on my desk by Friday."

Same message but different delivery.  Now ask yourself these questions...

                 Which one sounds more authoritative?
                 Which one states the objective clearly?
                 Which message is more likely to get the desired result?
                 Which is stronger?

If you chose the second message, I would agree with you. Unfortunately, the first message is most typical of how a woman would approach asking a colleague to complete a task. Why?  Because we have a tendency to use "tag lines" and so we come across as less authoritative, less knowledgeable and tentative in our message. Common tag lines include: don't you think?, isn't it?, if you don't mind, this may be a crazy idea but and OK?

As women, we are conditioned from a very young age to maintain harmony, keep the peace and BE NICE. As a result, we choose a word or group of words (tag line) that will "soften the blow."

RIGHT?
WRONG?

I think it depends on the situation and so I'm comfortable to say that it's "DIFFERENT." (NO. I'm not being nice. I do believe that there are times when you DO need to soften the blow a bit.)

Take a good listen this week to your word choice (s) in your communication exchanges and ask yourself if you could state your message more clearly.

I know this may sound like a crazy idea but if you find you need some assistance, give me a call......OK?






               

           

One vs. Many

As promised, I have a few more tips for communicating on Facebook...

I think one of the main things that people forget about Facebook, is that you are communicating with MANY vs. one on one. Let me explain.  When you post on someone's "wall" most believe that they are just speaking with that person...so not true.  Think about it. On average, most Facebook users have friend lists of over 200 people. Still think you are "just" posting to ONE?  Probably a good idea, before you hit the send/reply button, that you remember that you are communicating with not ONE but MANY. Would it be best to send a private message instead so you actually are communicating with ONE?  

Next up...

How many of you have a "record?" (Scratch that. You probably should keep that to yourself). Truth be told, anyone who has a Facebook account has a public "record."  Scary? For sure. Even if you have your privacy settings adjusted to optimum security, when you post on your wall or someone else's wall you have a PUBLIC "record."  Again, ask yourself if what you are posting would be best in a private message.

but WAIT, there's more...

Those who know me well, know that I am fairly fluent in sarcasm. While this translates well in face to face communication, it does NOT translate well on Facebook.  There is no way to let someone know you are being "sarcastic" until after your post is taken the wrong way. Think about all of the people who may not have the benefit of seeing your entire conversation, that part especially where you say "I was kidding." You guessed it, probably best to leave the sarcasm for face to face conversations.

Moral of the story?  

*Remember you are NOT communicating just with your "friend" but ALL of your "friends" and all of their "friends." 

*Be clear in your message. No sarcasm or private jokes that can be taken by others in the wrong way.

*Keep your public record "clean." 

Communicate wisely, my friends. 

Facebook Status Etiquette

Let's get something straight right away...

I am NOT a perfect communicator even though I am a "communication specialist."  There. I said it. Cat's out of the bag... I don't always use perfect grammar, spell words correctly, or communicate effectively while using Facebook. I also over use commas! (The horror!) I may also use far too may ellipses.............................

Whew. I feel much better getting that out of the way. 

I do think, however, that I do a good job with communication etiquette while using social networking sites.  I DON'T think a large portion of the population does. OUCH! I threw a lot of you under the bus, didn't I? 

Here is an example as to why I feel this way.

Status:  Spent a great morning with my family.

Reply:    Did you get my text yesterday?

Reply:    Sorry I didn't call you back.

Reply:    Are you coming to my party?

Reply:    How's your _________(insert any health issue here)

Reply:    How'd that "situation" go at work we talked about?

Reply:    Are you still hungover from last night? (I wish I was kidding about this one.)

Now really. If you were standing face to face having a conversation with someone, would you follow up their declaration that they had a great morning with their family with one of those responses?  NO. NO. NO. NO. NO (and if you would then you and I need to talk.)  You would NOT yet so many people DO this on Facebook statuses.  I really could go on and on and on but I think I've made my point.

I bet some of you are saying "So, Miss. Communication Specialist, what SHOULD we be saying then?"

So glad you asked...especially since this is the point of this blog post right?

Here are a few things I ask myself BEFORE I hit reply.

*Would I say this if I were face to face having this conversation?

*Would I walk into a room FULL of people with this person and say this LOUDLY for ALL to hear?

*Would I want someone to say this on MY status or wall?

 I think people just forget that they are still having a CONVERSATION while on Facebook. It is the nature of this beast called social networking yet, I think with some education we can begin to navigate this medium more effectively. 

Somebody really should make some parody videos of the above situations in REAL life, shouldn't they? I'd like to personally invite Justin Timberlake to do one...does anyone know him?  Please say yes. :)

Stay tuned for more posts on Facebook etiquette. In the meantime, I'd love to hear what your tips are for using social networking sites.