Everything I Need I Learned In Kindergarten? Really?

I had the pleasure yesterday of speaking about my passion {communication} to two different groups. I truly enjoy the time I get to spend teaching and reminding others about the importance of communication both within themselves and with others {INTRApersonal vs. INTERpersonal communication}.  I learn something new each time I get to interact with and meet new people in this way. 

One of my presentations reminded that, when it comes to communication, we really DID learn everything we needed to know in Kindergarten.  We make things so complicated sometimes. 

     *Say this...

     *Say that...

     *Use these words...

     

It gets confusing and overwhelming and it's no wonder people screw it up so often {myself included}. 

So, as I reflected on my personal journey and awakening at the importance of excellent INTRApersonal communication skills, I remembered the much beloved All I Ever Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum.

1. Share everything {COMMUNICATE}

2. Play Fair {Always}

3. Don't hit people {This includes with words-no hitting when they are down}

4. Put things back where you found them {If you screw up, use your communication to get things back on track-QUICKLY}

5. Clean up your own mess {see comment above}

6. Don't take things that aren't yours {give credit where credit is due}

7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT someone {not I'm sorry but...or talk around it, actually say: I'M SORRY}

8.  Wash your hands before you eat {I swear I didn't add this since I'm a germ-o-phobe}

9.  Flush {LOL}

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you {remember communication isn't always about what we say but more what we do}

11. Live a balanced life-learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some {Talk to yourself and LISTEN to the answers to keep your priorities in line}

12. Take a nap every afternoon {proven fact that communication suffers with sleep deprivation}

13.  When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together {build each other up with your words-especially women to women}

14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that {stay grounded and full of wonder}

15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup-they all die. So do we. {Leave nothing unsaid-life is short}

16. And then remember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned-the biggest word of all-LOOK! {Listen. Speak. Grow}

I would add these to the list:

17. Be who you are ALWAYS {be authentic}

18. Say "no" and mean it {being honest and saying NO is not only empowering for you but for the person you say it to as they know where they stand}

19. Use easy to understand words {jargon, complex vocabulary, and trying to sound smart is NOT best-keep it simple!}

20. Ask lots and lots and lots of questions {Listen. Speak. Grow}

I've been asked several times recently "Jennifer, as a pediatric speech language pathologist for 15 years, what qualifies you now to work with businesses on communication ?"  

I just smile...because I KNOW the answer and I just shared it with you here. 

Remember to play nice in the sandbox, friends 

AND

 Say it with Style..

As always, thank you for reading.

Jen

Talking to Myself...and hearing the answer

Talking to Yourself? 

It's O.K, you can admit it. No judgement here. It doesn't mean you're losing it, quite the contrary and when it comes to living a satisfying life and having a great career/business, it's a necessity. 

We all hear about INTERpersonal communication but how many of you think or really understand INTRApersonal communication?

I do BUT I haven't thought much about it since my Introduction to Communication Disorders class back in...well, no need to bore you with that little detail. 

These two words are often used inappropriately. They are not synonyms...(definitions courtesy of Wikipedia)

      Interpersonal communication~Interpersonal communication is the process that we use to communicate our ideas, thoughts, and feelings to another person. Our interpersonal communication skills are learned behaviors that can be improved through knowledge, practice, feedback, and reflection.


     Intrapersonal communication~ language use or thought internal to the communicator. It can be useful to envision intrapersonal communication occurring in the mind of the individual in a model which contains a sender, receiver, and feedback loop.


In recent weeks, I've come to realize just how important, and lacking, my intrapersonal communication has been. Obviously, I like to think of myself as a pretty good communicator but what I didn't realize, until recently, was that I really and truly needed to get back to communicating with myself (outside of talking to myself when I can't find things or am working through a difficult concept).  Let me explain...

How often do you ask yourself questions and actually LISTEN to the answer?  We should and NEED to be asking ourselves tough questions at each stage of our lives and careers if we want to continue to move forward in a positive and fulfilling way.

The answers to the questions will change and they should. The problem is that too many of us continue to operate based on a set of answers we asked ourselves eons ago or, sadly, never asked. 

Your intrapersonal communication is very closely tied to your emotional development, your environment, your life experiences, the role you are playing at any given time etc...if you never stop to consider the answers to questions like:

      ~What DO I value and what ARE my values?
      ~What DO I believe about ________?
      ~What are my personal policies and procedures? meaning, what are things I absolutely will NOT tolerate personally and professionally. 
      ~What would my ideal day look like? Ideal client? 

you will stumble, fall, feel unfulfilled, take on projects you regret, take on too much, take on too little, be dissatisfied with life/career, have regrets, make poor decisions etc...

Make a daily date with yourself or, at the very least, a quarterly date with yourself to ask these questions and review the answers.  A great way to strengthen your intrapersonal communication is through meditation, journaling (writing thoughts down is an ultimate intrapersonal exercise) and daydreaming. Yes, daydreaming. 

So, what will you do to strengthen your intrapersonal communication? I'd love to hear. If you'd like to learn more or feel you need a facilitator, let me know!

As always,thanks for reading and remember to... 

Say it with Style.

Jen