Communication Personality: Does it matter in business?

                                             “I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.” 

                                          ― Mahatma Gandhi

YES! It definitely DOES matter. 

Think about the last time you did business with someone. Were they a good match for you? Did you think to yourself..."there's something I don't care for" or "I really felt comfortable with them?"

If you did, or you ever have, then you think personality matters in business. 

Why does it matter?

Mostly because of that old adage that we like to do business with those we like, know and trust. It matters also because if we are aware of what our OWN communication personality is, then we can more easily adjust to fit ANOTHER's communication personality. This will do several things for us in business:

• allow us to connect with more of our clients
• allos us to connect on a deeper level with our clients
• make more connections, period
• negotiate more effectively
• manage more effectively
• sell more effectively

The list goes on and on and on and on. 

We should not be afraid to show our personality in our business interactions but we should also know when to adjust our personality when we are not a good match for someone or a certain situation.

Do you know your communication personality? 

Do you even know HOW to find out your communication personality?

I'd be happy to help you with both! Check this out. 

As always, thank you for reading and until next time.....Keep Saying it with Style. 

Jen

Exit Strategies to use with Incessant Talkers

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We've all been there. We have a friend, client or someone we just met who is an incessant talker. Once we realize this we avoid, make excuses and go to great lengths to avoid being caught in their web of NON.STOP.TALKING.

Now, my family is probably laughing right now because I like to talk. I'm rarely at a loss for words and I'll pretty much talk to anyone about most anything. I genuinely enjoy talking WITH people. The difference with me, and others who are considered "talkers", is that I listen and have the natural give and take that makes a conversation. Incessant talkers do not. 

There are many psychological reasons for incessant talking...I won't be sharing those because the goal here for this post is how to EXIT from an incessant talker. Whether it's a client or friend, the steps are the same and you must set those boundaries early and often to not a only save your sanity but also your valuable time. 

To exit a conversation with an incessant talker you should:

• Say "can I interrupt you for a moment?" and then...
• Say "This what I'm hearing you say" {repeat what you have understood them to say}This, hopefully gives them the clue that you get it. No further explanation is necessary. You can also..
• Add something to your paraphrase that connects your experience to theirs so they really know you received the message.
• If they talk over you say "Wait. I want to finish my thought." 
• Don't ask questions. This will encourage them to continue.
• STOP the conversation when it has gone on too long. Do not be afraid to say "I've listened longer than I have time right now, can we finish at another time?"

The important thing to remember is that you are not being rude if you assertively set boundaries that signal your time is valuable. 

So tell me, do you have any "exit strategies" that you use when you encounter an incessant talker? I'd love for you to share them in a comment.

As always, thank you for reading. 

Until next time, keep Saying it with Style. 

Jen

Business Speaking Skills: Tell a Story

I can tell you for sure that when someone is trying to sell me something or teach me something, I'm going to tune out if they pitch to me or don't make an effort to connect with me. 

I don't want to know that I'm being sold to. 

I don't want to be bored to tears with an endless list of facts and Power Point slides telling me how smart they are.

I want a story. 

Think about some of the best speakers you've ever heard; Steve Jobs, JFK, Maya Angelou, Bill Clinton, MLK...what were they able to do that made you remember them and actually listen to what they had to say {even the boring stuff!}?

They told a story. 

No, not necessarily a sit down get your milk and cookies type of story but they related to you and drew you in almost from the instant they opened their mouths. They presented their information in a relatable way. They made it real for their listener by sharing personal anecdotes and talking with their audience instead of at their audience. 

So, what does this mean for you as a presenter? 

Well, it doesn't mean that I am suggesting you start your next presentation with "I have a dream..." Instead, think about how you can make your information more relatable to your audience. Maybe through a personal story. Maybe through someone else's story {with permission of course}. Maybe by ditching the Power Point slides and speaking from the heart {fine to do but please still use an outline to keep you on track}. Maybe by learning to appear more relaxed instead of having a death grip on the lecturn. Maybe by learning how to insert a great pause or phrase your sentences in a pleasing way. 

Tell a story.

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As always, thank you for reading and until next time keep Saying it with Style.

Vocal Health: AKA Vocal Hygiene

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Your voice. 

It's your calling card. It's unique to YOU. It's how most of us communicate personally and professionally.

Have you thought about what would happen if it suddenly didn't work, didn't sound the same or gave out midway through your day?

For me..it would mean a drastic change in how I did my work as a speech language pathologist. In many ways, I wouldn't be able to do my work. Sure there are other ways to communicate BUT would they be easily implemented and would you be able to use those methods AND sustain your career? 

Think about it. 

Now, what if I told you that taking care of your voice can seemlessly fit into your day and that simply taking some quite time each day {something we should each be doing anyway}is part of the program? Interested? You should be, because taking care of your voice needs to be the number one priority for anyone who uses their voice in their work. 

Your first step in a vocal hygiene program is to...

• Spend at least two 30 minutes blocks EACH day being quiet. No talking and no using your voice in any way {no throat clearing, no coughing,  no singing, no humming, no whispering...you get the idea}.

• Second~Tune in to Jennifer's BlogTalk Radio show on Tuesday, Janauray 29th at 10:00am to find out more.

Take care of those voices! 

As always thanks for reading and be sure to keep Saying it with Style!

Jen

I Get by with a Little Help From My Friends

 I have a group of friends that I have never met face to face...{um, that seems to be going around lately doesn't it?} 

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All kidding aside, I DO have a group of friends that I have never met in person, only online, and they ROCK. Over the past 5 months, they have single handedly; talked me off the ledge when I was scared to make changes in my 15 year old business, helped me manage my time better to be more productive in my business, supported me by allowing me the chance to be a featured contributor to their blog and just day to day {Monday to Monday actually}supported me with things for my biz that I didn't even know I needed help with. Whew! That's a whole lotta help from people you have never met in person. 

Who am I talking about?  Mombiz.com and #mombizmondays {join us on Twitter on Monday nights at 10pm EST}. In particular Lara Galloway {Mom Biz Coach} and her biz partner Shelagh Cummins. They are REAL people...I promise. Check them out!

Why am I writing about them? Well, first off I really want more people to join the group of mom biz owners because we get better and stronger with more energy from more mom biz owners. The other reason? I'm trying to win a scholarship to their Mombiz Retreat in Chicago coming up on Valentine's Day weekend. I have been eyeing this retreat since I first found the group in August. Unfortunately, other things needed to come first in my biz budget and so, I didn't sign up. I did however, sign up for their MBA {Mom Biz Academy} and WOW I have only listened to two of the coaching sessions and I can't even begin to describe how much help they have been already! AMAZING does not even begin to cover it. 

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I feel like they've thrown me a life preserver. No Kidding. 

I'm still feeling a little unsure about throwing my hat in the ring for this scholarship....I mean, there are likely more deserving moms out there; younger moms and perhaps new entrepreneurial moms. Then, I think back to a podcast of Lara's  when she told another mompreneur, who was feeling that she wasn't worthy of the great business she was getting, "YOU ARE DESERVING." I hear them {Lara and Shelagh} saying that to me..."Jen, YOU ARE DESERVING." 

So today, I'm throwing my hat in the ring. 

What does this have to do with my blog here? Well, sometimes...you need to realize that part of Saying it with Style is putting yourself out there, going for what you want and letting others know about a GREAT resource you have found. 

As always, thanks for reading and I hope to see some of you mombiz owners join the group. 

Jen

Communication and Customer Service: Conflicting Experiences

Within the last week, I've had two very interesting and enlightening customer service experiences.  After the second, which was very different from the first, I had that "A HA" moment and decided to write about my experiences. 

My first experience was with a company who provides a common service to home owners to keep their homes looking great {no, I will not be sharing more than that}. I have been trying to use more locally owned companies for these types of services as it DOES make a difference for each of us small business owners. This was the first time I had gone with a local company for this particular service. 

From the first phone call, I knew that communication may be an issue however I pressed on giving the benefit of the doubt. The issue was that I was told they could not give me a price until they came to do the service and saw the house. I insisted on knowing an estimate ahead of time as they must have set prices for certain sized spaces. After communicating clearly what MY expectations were, the owner came out himself and gave me an estimate. This was a check in the plus column. When you are in a service industry, you must be able to give some type of estimate over the phone or make it your policy to come see the space. You can not expect people to blindly hire you and have a "we'll know how much to charge you when we come to provide the service" type attitude. No. That is not good customer service.  

Unfortunately, on the day of the service I was unable to be here due to an emergency with my son.  My husband was here and oversaw the work. He shared with me that the company showed up without their regular equipment due to a breakdown. {BIG red flag} The day proceeded to get worse when I got home and saw that things were not done to the level of expectation and, in fact, the company had done something that actually had damaged something in my home. In all fairness, my husband pointed this out to the crew prior to them leaving and they tried to remedy it but it did not meet my specifications upon my return home. 

The next day, after seeing things in the daylight, I called the owner and expressed my unhappiness with the service and the damage to my home. I asked how we were going to proceed. He didn't have an immediate answer even after I communicated, very clearly, what my expectations were. I told him I was unhappy with the service and felt that he should have cancelled due to his equipment malfunction but now I have paid him for a service and it isn't up to my expectations. He admitted that he did not check over things as he should have but then proceeded to make excuses {do not EVER make excuses-when you are a business owner-another BIG red flag} about why the service was not up to par. We finally got to an agreed upon return to remedy the situation. 

Upon arrival on the day they returned, there was no attitude of "I'm sorry let me make this right for you." Instead, it was as if this was a burden to them to return to my home {I'm sure it was but it wasn't because of my negligence}. There was little discussion and no apology {another BIG red flag}. Upon completion, when I asked how we would proceed if the damage was not remedied this visit there was no answer. No eye contact. No plan. {BIG red flag}. I ,instead, had to communicate that I would call them if the damaged area was not remedied {a proactive plan so we each knew what our "job" was}.

Fast forward 6 days later to another business and another interesting customer service experience.

While out running errands I wanted a coffee. I will almost always choose a coffee shop in this order: locally owned, Starbucks or national fast food chain. Well, this day it was the latter. I made my order and proceeded to pull away. I remember thinking that the cup looked bigger than usual but thought maybe they changed their sizes again and I don't frequent them enough to know. I pulled away while taking a drink and immediately noticed this was NOT what I ordered. I pulled around again, spoke into the box and was told to pull around and they would fix it. I did so, I got my drink and while pulling away and taking a sip AGAIN noticed that this was NOT what I ordered. 

By  now, I'm not only kicking myself for not checking before pulling away but also very frustrated that I have to round the building yet again to get what I ordered. I bypass the box completely and I think I can hear the gals at the first window say something as I speed by...

I get to the window and the manager who has now appeared says exasperatedly {not at me} "Is that STILL not right?!"  I answered in the affirmative. He asked me to pull up and shortly after, brought me exactly what I had ordered the first time. Now, here is where this experience turned immediately into a good experience.

     *He leaned in and looked directly at me to say "Please take a drink and make sure this is to your   liking."

     *Then he said "I'm sorry for your inconvenience and trouble."  

     *He went on and said "I'm refunding your money and I hope that you will come back to see us and allow us to give you a better experience than you had today."

I was so absolutely in LOVE with this that I think I may have passed out for a second...much like when you meet a celebrity and can't find your words.

YES, YES, YES. 

I will be back because YOU had a plan. YOU made it right. YOU took on the burden. 

So, bringing it home {sorry but you needed all of the details here}...

If you are in business. You MUST be a good communicator. You MUST have a plan when things go wrong. You MUST attempt to make things right with your customer. It's THAT simple. It really is. 

Have your plan and communicate it to everyone who works for you. Keep the tone from the top cohesive and KNOWN. 

Until then, remember to 

Say it with Style...

Jen

Everything I Need I Learned In Kindergarten? Really?

I had the pleasure yesterday of speaking about my passion {communication} to two different groups. I truly enjoy the time I get to spend teaching and reminding others about the importance of communication both within themselves and with others {INTRApersonal vs. INTERpersonal communication}.  I learn something new each time I get to interact with and meet new people in this way. 

One of my presentations reminded that, when it comes to communication, we really DID learn everything we needed to know in Kindergarten.  We make things so complicated sometimes. 

     *Say this...

     *Say that...

     *Use these words...

     

It gets confusing and overwhelming and it's no wonder people screw it up so often {myself included}. 

So, as I reflected on my personal journey and awakening at the importance of excellent INTRApersonal communication skills, I remembered the much beloved All I Ever Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum.

1. Share everything {COMMUNICATE}

2. Play Fair {Always}

3. Don't hit people {This includes with words-no hitting when they are down}

4. Put things back where you found them {If you screw up, use your communication to get things back on track-QUICKLY}

5. Clean up your own mess {see comment above}

6. Don't take things that aren't yours {give credit where credit is due}

7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT someone {not I'm sorry but...or talk around it, actually say: I'M SORRY}

8.  Wash your hands before you eat {I swear I didn't add this since I'm a germ-o-phobe}

9.  Flush {LOL}

10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you {remember communication isn't always about what we say but more what we do}

11. Live a balanced life-learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some {Talk to yourself and LISTEN to the answers to keep your priorities in line}

12. Take a nap every afternoon {proven fact that communication suffers with sleep deprivation}

13.  When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together {build each other up with your words-especially women to women}

14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that {stay grounded and full of wonder}

15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup-they all die. So do we. {Leave nothing unsaid-life is short}

16. And then remember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned-the biggest word of all-LOOK! {Listen. Speak. Grow}

I would add these to the list:

17. Be who you are ALWAYS {be authentic}

18. Say "no" and mean it {being honest and saying NO is not only empowering for you but for the person you say it to as they know where they stand}

19. Use easy to understand words {jargon, complex vocabulary, and trying to sound smart is NOT best-keep it simple!}

20. Ask lots and lots and lots of questions {Listen. Speak. Grow}

I've been asked several times recently "Jennifer, as a pediatric speech language pathologist for 15 years, what qualifies you now to work with businesses on communication ?"  

I just smile...because I KNOW the answer and I just shared it with you here. 

Remember to play nice in the sandbox, friends 

AND

 Say it with Style..

As always, thank you for reading.

Jen