Tag! You're it.

While in graduate school, one of my favorite areas to study was that of gender differences and communication style (s).  I continue to find this area fascinating and often become distracted while in conversation because I am observing communication style(s) instead of listening to the "message." Oops, occupational hazard.

YES. I am going to head down the Mars vs. Venus road for a moment.

I read an article this week about how women have a tendency to sabotage themselves with the word choices they make while communicating.  I completely agree and have been astounded with how many times this week I have caught myself doing this very thing.

 Let's take a look at the two messages below:
     
      "Do you think that you can have the report done by Friday?"
      "Have the report on my desk by Friday."

Same message but different delivery.  Now ask yourself these questions...

                 Which one sounds more authoritative?
                 Which one states the objective clearly?
                 Which message is more likely to get the desired result?
                 Which is stronger?

If you chose the second message, I would agree with you. Unfortunately, the first message is most typical of how a woman would approach asking a colleague to complete a task. Why?  Because we have a tendency to use "tag lines" and so we come across as less authoritative, less knowledgeable and tentative in our message. Common tag lines include: don't you think?, isn't it?, if you don't mind, this may be a crazy idea but and OK?

As women, we are conditioned from a very young age to maintain harmony, keep the peace and BE NICE. As a result, we choose a word or group of words (tag line) that will "soften the blow."

RIGHT?
WRONG?

I think it depends on the situation and so I'm comfortable to say that it's "DIFFERENT." (NO. I'm not being nice. I do believe that there are times when you DO need to soften the blow a bit.)

Take a good listen this week to your word choice (s) in your communication exchanges and ask yourself if you could state your message more clearly.

I know this may sound like a crazy idea but if you find you need some assistance, give me a call......OK?