Exit Strategies to use with Incessant Talkers

{Creative Commons}

We've all been there. We have a friend, client or someone we just met who is an incessant talker. Once we realize this we avoid, make excuses and go to great lengths to avoid being caught in their web of NON.STOP.TALKING.

Now, my family is probably laughing right now because I like to talk. I'm rarely at a loss for words and I'll pretty much talk to anyone about most anything. I genuinely enjoy talking WITH people. The difference with me, and others who are considered "talkers", is that I listen and have the natural give and take that makes a conversation. Incessant talkers do not. 

There are many psychological reasons for incessant talking...I won't be sharing those because the goal here for this post is how to EXIT from an incessant talker. Whether it's a client or friend, the steps are the same and you must set those boundaries early and often to not a only save your sanity but also your valuable time. 

To exit a conversation with an incessant talker you should:

• Say "can I interrupt you for a moment?" and then...
• Say "This what I'm hearing you say" {repeat what you have understood them to say}This, hopefully gives them the clue that you get it. No further explanation is necessary. You can also..
• Add something to your paraphrase that connects your experience to theirs so they really know you received the message.
• If they talk over you say "Wait. I want to finish my thought." 
• Don't ask questions. This will encourage them to continue.
• STOP the conversation when it has gone on too long. Do not be afraid to say "I've listened longer than I have time right now, can we finish at another time?"

The important thing to remember is that you are not being rude if you assertively set boundaries that signal your time is valuable. 

So tell me, do you have any "exit strategies" that you use when you encounter an incessant talker? I'd love for you to share them in a comment.

As always, thank you for reading. 

Until next time, keep Saying it with Style. 

Jen